This week I'm asking for permission... to stop asking for permission.
(taken from my newsletter with some amendments)
Something is happening in my life- I don't know what, but things are changing. For the better.
And I know now that if I want to fully embrace these new changes, I need complete freedom to figure this all out.
Some things are becoming very clear to me and deep down I can literally feel my soul coming back to life. It feels INCREDIBLE. And yeah, as a result I'm being quite impulsive. But let's get things straight, it's not in an uneducated way, I know EXACTLY what I'm doing and what I need right now. It might not make sense to outsiders, but it's like I'm being guided... I can't explain it... and I just need to do things with my art, my life, my website, my business that may seem drastic but are actually really, really good for me. I NEED to do the things I want to do without worrying about what my followers or clients or friends might think of me. I'm starting to realise that if you don't like what I make, or who I am, or what I do... maybe that's just the way things are? That I don't need to to convince you, or anyone else, otherwise. Can you imagine what it's like to live like that? It sucks. It really does. I feel like I've spent such a long time trying to cater for everyone and be this grey, neutral, generic blogger and artist, when actually I've been censoring myself, massively. I'm boring myself! To protect myself from rejection, actually. Isn't that sad? Isn't that TRAGIC?
So today I am announcing changes. Big changes. I know I've done this before but the pattern has changed this time because I'm finally accepting it. Maybe now i'm even ready for it?
I have no idea where this will go. I know my art will remain. I know my website will remain. But I don't know what new and exciting things are coming into my life. I DO know that I won't be shutting the door on them anymore though so I don't muddy up my 'niche'. SEO and appeasing algorithm's can kiss my ass. I mean, screw it, if I want to talk about my pregnancy, I'm going to. If I want to talk about a great shade of lipstick I love, I'm doing it. If I want to show you all the crafts and DIY projects I make (but hide away because it's not Portrait Art- seriously I do so much that you never see), I don't see why I should pretend they don't exist! It's all these things that INSPIRE my art anyway! You can't imagine I draw a portrait without spending a couple of weeks researching butterflies or visiting botanical gardens for references right? And I don't share any of that.
Isn't that the interesting stuff? Isn't that what people and blogs are about?
Of course I'll keep my tutorials and I'll always sell my art, but atm I'm a blogger, who doesn't blog, because I'm too scared to! And it HAS to end.
Over the next few weeks all sorts of crazy things could happen on my site and social media. I'm thinking of deleting things, starting a new lifestyle blog, opening an etsy shop, making costumes, covering everything in rhinestones, showing you my new shoes... I really don't know what. EVERYTHING and ANYTHING could happen. I blame The Girl Gang entirely. Being around those people has just blown my mind and I'm sooooo excited for the future.
So, if you want to stick around, please do, but I can't guarantee you'll recognise any of this anymore. I do recommend staying signed up to my mailing list for now as everything else will be vulnerable to deletion. I may also vanish for weeks, I may also be in touch very shortly. I truly don't know. It all sounds a lot like FUN doesn't it? #HugeFuckingGrin
But otherwise, thank you. THANK YOU. Thank you to everyone has supported and guided me to this point. My husband who has been a true soul mate by pushing me, testing me, but ultimately always coming through for me- even though we're complete opposites and thinks most of what I do is 'witchcraft' (love you), to my family and friends for being pretty much completely indifferent to what I do online and my art and reminding me that there is more to Me then my art- thank you, please stay that way. To Susan, for being the best friend I could ask for and ALWAYS being there for me, no matter what, she's a champion and I love her and you couldn't meet a more deserving, hard working woman. And of course to my clients and followers who enjoy, support, defend and inspire my work. Thank you ALL of you. You are the icing on the cake.
Onwards and Upwards eh?